Now, having said that, I too, have learned a lot of hard lessons and have been fooled and heartbroken by many who gave their solid word to me and I, in return, honored their simple verbal commitment. I have realized that anyone can give you lip service. But at the end of the day, do you know, without doubt, what you will do to honor your word and hold your agreements with others and yourself?

A ”potential” client sent me Kurt Vonneguts speechthat he addressed to the 1997 class of MIT. I Loved it so much that I thought I would pass it along to my readers because its insightful, fun, hopeful and its Friday. The speech below is Kurt Vonneguts point of view on life and how taking life less seriously can lead to happier and in many instances a more productive life. So, in those instances when you get frustrated or dissapointed that you or your business is not where you want it to be just take this speech out, read it until your heart settles in and you can feel Joy in your bones again. 

“Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ‘97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting  40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.

Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.”

The call, entitled “5 Ultimate Access Secrets” is the culmination of years of my own research and access-attaining experience and, for the first time ever, will be made public on this free teleseminar on Thursday, August 11, 2011 at 5pm PST / 8pm EST.  Attendees will learn:

•  How to make the big industry connections so you can start playing bigger and earning bigger
•  How the get next to the decision makers who have the power to double or triple your profits overnight
•  How to make friends with the game-changers in your industry and finally start making what you’re worth
•  How to gain access to the movers and shakers so you can create an avalanche of powerful connections and staggering sales

I want more people to be exposed to this information because it’s one of the core components of business growth that no one is talking about. That silence will end on this call – please plan to join me!

Visit www.getaccesssecrets.com/5secrets to register for this revealing teleseminar.

Yup that’s what I said. Be more like a turtle. Let me explain.

Recently, I was rereading this article in one of my favorite magazines, Success Magazine. The interview was written about an Olympic Gold medalist, Nikki Stone..

To briefly explain …..When Nikki Stone was 5, she watched Nadia Comaneci score a perfect 10 in gymnastics at the Olympics. Nikki promptly made a podium out of the furniture in her living room to make the very important announcement that such a win is exactly what she would accomplish. Her mother responded with the wisdom that would carry her daughter through years of training, a devastating spinal injury and on to an Olympic gold medal. She told Nikki she must be like a turtle–soft on the inside, hard on the outside and willing to stick her neck out. The word picture was one that was easy for this determined young girl to remember. “What child doesn’t know what a turtle looks like?,” Stone told SUCCESS. “Mom explained that my soft inside was a passion for what I did, the hard shell represented focus and commitment to my goal, and the willingness to stick my neck out stood for confidence, follow-through and strong teamwork.” Young Nikki went to work immediately to become the best turtle she could be.

The story continues how she found her passion of wanting to become the best inverted aerial skier, the accident that left two of her back discs seriously injured and the months of excruciating pain and depression that followed. Each of the 10 doctors Stone visited told her she would never ski again. She had to train through the pain and to dig deep to build her own confidence again. The months that followed were extremely dark for Stone. “I fell into a deep depression.” she says. She trained through the pain. With less than a year to train for the next Olympic Games, Stone stuck her neck out and pushed toward her goal. She trained with intensity, consistently improving her strength, agility and confidence.

In 1998, Nikki Stone became the first American to win the Olympic gold medal in aerial freestyle skiing. Stone’s career achievements also included 35 World Cup podiums, 11 World Cup titles, four national titles and two Overall World Grand Prix titles. Today, she is a ski host and sports psychology consultant to competitive athletes, and has authored her first book, When Turtles Fly: Secrets of Successful People Who Know How to Stick Their Necks Out.

To your Success!!

Kathleen

 1. Expect it verses Believe it.

You must know in your gut that you will have Success. You will have what ever it is that you want or have your mind set on. You must know that obstacles will come along but you know that it’s going to happen and it’s just a matter of time that it’s here. You can think it or believe it but believing is not the same as expecting it. You might believe it for a moment and then someone says something to you that rocks your world and you say, hmm maybe it might not work. But when you expect it you can’t let anything shake your world because you Know its coming. Expect it.

 2. Check in with your Self talk.

 What do you say to yourself every day, every minute of every day, every second of every minute of every day? Phew. That was a mouthful. Do you hear what you are saying to yourself? Do you say things like, ” I wish I were smarter so I could figure this out?” or “I think I can do this” or Fill in your own blank. Your negative self talk keeps you from going after your big dreams. You’re probably not even aware of what you are saying to yourself every day or every moment. So, right now, I want you to start listening. Start catching your words that you say to yourself. What thoughts are running through your head? What are you mumbling about? Your words can be destructive to your success without you even knowing it. Start paying attention. Change the way you speak about yourself.

 3. Prepare your mind each day.

 You are the master of your thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You think your thoughts. So, if you are the master of your thoughts you get to create what ever you want your day or life to look like. Each morning get quiet with yourself. Prepare your mind. Allow it to receive positive feedback from the universe. Setting the right mind and right actions first thing in the morning sets the tone for the rest of your day. In the evening think about what you would like to create or a problem that you would like to solve and get your solution in the morning. Get the clutter out of your head and home. Read a book before you go to sleep verses
watching television. Heh, I love a good TV show but there’s this thing called Tivo that you can record the shows for another time. Who knew?

 4. Know your Numbers. 

Do you know how many sales calls or presentations you need to make before you close the sale? Do you know how many sales you need to make your monthly nut? My father always told me that I had to know my numbers because it was critical to your business and life. Find a mentor, coach or someone who really understands numbers and ask for their help. Better to know now than later when it might not be so pretty.

 5. Celebrate the small wins along with the big wins.

How many of you have had a really good day recently and stopped and celebrated the moment of knowing that you did well? Did you take time out and have a celebration ritual to honor your work or accomplishment that day? Or did you say , “Next”? We forget that we have small wins during the day and they don’t seem Big enough to stop and say, “Wow, that was great.” Right? Instead we wait for the really big wins which might take days, weeks,months or even years and then we forget what we were celebrating and how to celebrate. It’s so important to celebrate the small wins because they turn into big wins and then the journey along the way becomes more fun verses Next. It’s also a reminder and tracking system to show you where you were and how far you have come and where you are going. You actually see what you have done with all the small wins and it keeps you on course for your bigger win. 

]]> http://kathleen-lorden.com/5-simple-ways-to-prepare-for-your-success/feed 2 http://kathleen-lorden.com/success-is-having-a-great-mum http://kathleen-lorden.com/success-is-having-a-great-mum#comments Sat, 07 May 2011 01:53:47 +0000 Kathleen http://kathleen-lorden.com/?p=614 I just want to start out by saying Happy Mums day to all of you who are mothers.

My Mother knew success on every level. She was married to a self made man who lived bigger than life. But she always told us that her success was that each one of us loved her without question and she would always say, “You kids are so good to me”. We always felt her unconditional love. Of course we disagreed at times but I knew she always wanted the best for me and she told me to grab life now and don’t wait for that rainy day. When we lost our father, over 4 years ago, she said, “Your father gave me the world and I gave him a life” and that she did. She was her own woman and for those days that was huge. She was married to a man who built a huge platform to play on and build on and it amazed me how she held her own with him. He was putty in her hands. He loved and adored her because she was “spicy” and always knew who she was and how to tickle his fancy. She just loved us all and wanted us to be happy. I love that. I love her for all that she has taught me and shown me by example of how to stand in your own grace and style. Just some of the things that I adore about her was that she taught me that You can be a strong woman. You can love someone without losing yourself. You can live the life you want and not live in the shadow of someone elses. You can be different. You can live your life and how ever you want to live it because its yours to live.

 

Not only did my Mum give birth to me but she helped me birth new ideas about what I could become and gave me the courage to try.

 

I am one of 7 children but I was told that we were all #1 in her eyes. 

 

 

  .

  

 

  

If you answered yes to this question then you don’t need to read any more of this post. This is one of my favorite subjects. Sales, success and making a fortune.

HAPPY ST. PATTYS DAY!

When Kit was young he was diagnosed with ADHD. He really struggled in school, could never concentrate on anything, got into lots of trouble and the list goes on. His parents tried   everything to help him.  As a last resort they (the medical profession) put him on medication thinking this will help with his condition and calm him down and get him on the right path. That was the wrong path for Kit. The drugs made him feel lifeless with little or no energy and he really was unhappy with having to be medicated all the time. He lost his real sense of who he was and really didn’t like how the drugs made him feel. One day, he went to his parents and said, “I have had enough. I don’t like the way I feel. I am going off these drugs and I’ll find a better way to deal with this condition.”  His parents went along with him and they started trying to introduce him to different activities and sports and whatever they could think of to help Kit. One day Kits dad, Marc, said lets go for a bicycle ride and took him to the velodrome. Kit got on that bike and he has never gotten off except to accept the blue ribbons and trophies that would be presented to him for years to follow. I can’t even begin to tell you how accomplished he has become in this sport. He has won National, State and local championships. You  name it he’s done it. He’s gone on to Europe and competed with the finest and best. He’s unstoppable at this sport and creating the life that he wants for himself and others.

But here’s the piece I really want to drive home. Last night I attended the launching of his new Foundation. Yes, that’s right. A foundation. The Kit Karzen Foundation. He had young athletes, olympic gold medalists, heavy weight sponsors, coaches and others who I couldn’t even tell you who they were, in attendance. Even Phil Keoghan who is the star on the  “The Amazing race” show was there but after all their mug shots are proudly displayed together on the healthy Power bar.  This party,that was put together 3 weeks ago, was just a thought by Kit. He said wouldn’t that be great to do this and that? His parents should have known that he was going to do this even if it was a huge undertaking and only 3 weeks away. But they were asking him how he would be pulling this big event off in only 3 weeks and that it might rain and all of the other discouraging thoughts of “what if?”  Kit said, “So what? Iam doing it.”  He pulled it all together and standing there last night listening to him and how humble he is and how much he loves helping others overcome this condition I realized that I have become very used to Kit’s extraordinary accomplishments because he makes them look and seem effortless and he is always doing something Huge. He has always gotten what he has put out there. He thinks bigger. He thinks about making a difference in this world and in other peoples lives. He only knows the words,” why not? and why not me?”  It’s selflessness. It’s not about what’s in it for me? He’s an absolute magnet for all that is good. He has taken what was a very challenging time in his youth and turned it around because he believed that he could make a difference and he believed in his ability to reach higher and dream bigger for himself. He continues to think and reach higher and has faith in what is possible. He believes others can overcome what ever it is that they need to. Whethere its ADHD or drug addiciton or just plain ole setting your mindset on a positive course. When you love what you are doing and you’re doing it for the right reasons look what happens? Anything and everything is possible. We have unlimited possibilities and resources that are available to us every day. The only thing we have to do is to just decide what path we want to ride our bike on and then just start peddling. Just look out for Kit Karzen. You probably won’t see him but you will see his dust.

You can find Kit Karzen everywhere and Kit Karzen Foundation on Face book. www.kitkarzenfoundation.org

I love this time of year. I have wonderful childhood memories of growing up in New England and celebrating Thanksgiving with the Lorden clan. If we didn’t get snowed in, we could expect our relatives to feast with us and enjoy and applaud my Mums delicious Turkey and gravy. No one can make gravy like hers.

I have so much to be grateful for.  For starters, I have been traveling, speaking at many events and meeting some of the most amazing movers and shakers along the way. I met one of those movers and shakers, Liz Lange, last week, in Las Vegas, at Ali Brown’s Shine event. Vogue magazine once called her “the woman who is the Michael Kors of maternity fashion.” 

I’ll be sharing with you, in the article below, a few things that Liz spoke about to get through to the gate keepers in her industry and reaching her ultimate goal to be at the top. This is a subject near and dear to me as I teach people how to get through the gate keepers who guard the top decision makers who ultimately could be holding the keys to their success.

The best piece of this story is that I will be interviewing Liz Lange. I was so thrilled when she agreed to be interviewed by me, privately. Don’t worry, I will be recording our conversation and sharing her wisdom and experiences with you all. Btw. If you have any questions that you would like answered by Liz send me an email right away as this should be happening in the next few days. Would love to hear from you along with your thoughts and questions.

As promised, here’s 5 tips for success from Liz Lange, a famous and talented woman, who saw an opportunity and a need for pregnant woman to feel and look their best. She decided to design and birth a whole new idea to help pregnant woman, who were tired of wearing frilly moo moo dresses, look and feel beautiful during their pregnancy.

• Get past the Gate keepers. We all know who they are. We all know how to get through them or do we? You’ll hear more from Liz on this subject when I interview her and record it. This was a critical piece for me when I broke into Beverly Hills and put my company and myself on the map. You must know how to do this in order for your success to happen.

• Research. Learn everything about your business and industry. Listen and find out what people really are looking for and what need you can fill. Liz describes herself as an “accidental entrepreneur.” She really fell into it. She didn’t have a fashion degree and hardly knew how to sew. But she listened to her friends and her intuition that told her to go for it. She started to experiment with her ideas and new possibilities. What she did next was brilliant.

• Targeted her market. This may not sound brilliant but she targeted celebrities who were pregnant and sent them gorgeous, one of a kind, outfits that made them stand out, look beautiful and feel and look sexy. The top photographers and magazines all picked up on it and published her designs in countless magazines. Before she could say baby bump she was exclusively designing for celebrities and was in high demand.

• Never send a generic letter. After doing her research, Liz knew who and how to get to where she needed to go. She gave her personal touch to everything and everyone. She added the Lange touch. Do you add your own touch to your business?

• Persistence. When you hear Liz’s story or anyone who has made it big you always hear the challenges that they went through to get there. You also hear how they never gave up on their dream. A big take away, for me, was when Liz said she would have had such regret if she had given up on her dream to be the first designer of beautiful maternity wear and then one day she would see someone doing what she wanted to do. It was a risk she couldn’t afford not to take so she pressed on. It clearly paid off! It looks like she’s sitting pretty nice over there.

I have a gazillion things that are so  important for guaranteed success but I will start with 10 that are easy, understandable and anyone can do it. Seriously. I have mentored so many proteges and taught them the skills and showed them how anyone can break into their Beverly Hills.

1. Don’t let anyone be in charge of Your life. Period. I believe we are all responsible for creating the life that we want to have for ourselves. Only we know what makes our heart sing or race with excitement. How many times have we decided to put a dream on hold because others expect something different from us? Or the dream feels to big, too silly or too challenging? More importantly, how many times have you heard the word No when you need to hear the word Yes. Why not take Your reason for Yes and stomp out their No? Live your life. Don’t live someone Else’s. 

2. Think Big. For as long as I can remember, I can hear my father saying “If you are going to think, you might as well think Big”. He said it was just as easy to think big than to think small. He would say “Why would anyone want to think small?” He had a good point.

3. Always go to the Top. This is where the decision makers are (typically) and they can open a door for you or shut you out. The leaders are here. Its not crowded at the top. Leaders want to listen because they know they need to in order to expand with new ideas that will be good for all.

4. Impeccable service. If you have poor customer service and don’t listen to whats happening in your business or with your clients, you might as well hang the “Out of Business For Good” sign on your front door. Its a deal breaker. 

5. Show up and Stay in Sight. Out of sight, out of mind. Are you on the front of your clients mind when they think of wanting to do business with the best? Do you stay in touch with them? Do they see you? They can’t see you if you are still sitting on the fence and waiting to be noticed.

6. Build solid relationships. Relationships are everything. I’ll say that again. Relationships are everything. Its so much easier to do business with people you know, like and trust and who know, like and trust you. Solid relationships are tough to break. They also allow for when you make a mistake, admit to it and promise to make it right, to be more forgiving than someone who does not know you. When you have earned the trust of those who you have served there is an ease to doing business with each other. You also have created the loyalty factory which is everything.

7. Keep Moving.Don’t stop. Its easy to get stuck when you’re not sure what to do next. Do something. Have your check list with you on the side of your computer and have your list of questions to prompt you on those days you can’t pull it together. Question # 1. What can I do today to move me towards my goal? Question #2. What did I do today to move towards my first million dollar idea? My first new client? My new product? Question #3. What would I like to do to move myself towards my first Million or Billion? Question #4. What questions do you need to ask yourself to keep yourself moving? When you keep the momentum going it keeps moving you along. Now, I am not saying to be doing such tasks as organizing your pencils, pens and paperclips by color twelve times in an hour to keep you feeling and looking busy. Iam saying to find one thing that maybe you don’t want to do to move yourself forward and do it. You’ll be surprised at what happens next.

8. Ask for referrals. Do you ever ask for referrals? Do you ask for them from your A clients? It is so much easier to ask an A client who is your biggest fan for a referral because if they love you and your service they will gladly want to introduce you to their friends or client. Why wouldn’t they? By the time you talk to that referred perspective client they will have already heard all the great reviews about you from your client who loves you. Do you know how nice it feels to have someone already receptive to speak to you because you have this connection through your client? You cut through all the formalities and get straight to it. BTW..If you have a client that is a jerk then you shouldn’t be working with them and never ask for a referral from them because they probably hang out with other jerks. I know that to be true.

9. Always know your competitors and how well you match up or don’t. Always know your competitors strengths and weaknesses. Its not to put them down. Or to build you up. Its just to know where you are different and how your strengths can add value for your clients. I believe you only compete with yourself but you need to be aware of whats happening around you and if your standard is above the rest. How high is the platform that you perform on? You have to stay relevant and you have to strive for excellence in yourself and your team. You have to always be sharpening your knife for a better and sharper edge. Is what you are doing making a difference in someones life? or have you become comfortable and its good enough?

10.Visualize the Outcome. I know that you have all heard the visualization techniques and what to do to manifest what you desire. I have, personally, a ton of ways that I do mine that helps me manifest the outcomes that I desire. However, the biggest vision for yourself is to Know its going to happen. You can believe it all you want but when you Know it it happens. Remind me to tell you the story and example of Knowing that I was going to go to one of the biggest events in Beverly Hills at the Green Acres Estate. The $1000.00 a plate admission tickets were sold out and I was told that it was impossible to find One paid ticket and attend. Lets just say, I chuckled the night before the event when I got a phone call from someone telling me somehow One ticket was available and it was paid for and that if I wanted to go to the grand event to just show up at Will Call , pick up my paid $1000.00 ticket and Have a ball with the gorgeous celebrities that were attending. Good thing I had  bought a fabulous new dress and shoes the week before I Knew I was going.

  Does the above title “Quit trying Harder” resonate with any of you? It sure does for me. The photo to your left was taken of moi and my Mastermind partner, Lillian, at a recent Mastermind retreat that I attended in San Diego a few weeks ago. We were demonstrating and proving a theory of why working harder doesn’t get you there any quicker and sometimes not at all. And if you actually get there after knocking yourself out, you are probably completely burnt out and can’t lift yourself off the couch to go on a Holiday to recoup. Oh, the Reward of working harder.

So here’s what we did. Each group had an assignment to achieve that would be handed to us randomly. There would also be a number (mine was #2) attached to that instruction or as we called it Cash Commandment. We then had to find the people who had received the same assignment and number on it and form a group.  I had 4 fabulous woman in my group and we all laughed when we read that our assignment /cash commandment was “Quit trying harder.” Hmmm. Sound familiar? We were asked to talk about and convince the group why we think that our commandment should be the one to show case and be the Winner. We had fun thinking of so many ways of what we could do to prove a point and then it suddenly dawned on me of what would be a great example of showing verses talking about why Trying harder is not the answer.

We all had just read the book, ”You squared” by Price Pritchett. It has become one of my favorite little books to read because of its unconventional strategies to penetrate imaginary barriers and pursue your true potential. On the back cover it reads ” Making a quantum leap means accomplishing far more, in less time, with only a fraction of the effort you’ve been giving. Price Pritchett outlines unique, dynamic methods for leaping beyond ordinary performances and achieving dramatic breakthroughs.”

The simple story, in the first chapter of You 2 ,that got me right away was the one about the small fly. Heres my version of the story. Price is sitting in a room watching this small fly continue to slam himself against the windowpane in the hopes of freeing himself to the outside world. He sees it. He knows it’s there but he can’t penetrate the window pane. As we humans know, he will not be able to break through the barrier. Its glass after all. This situation is impossible for him. Instead, he continues to waste his energy and thinks that through sheer determination, will and perseverance, he’ll get there. Unfortunately, he doesn’t get there and his chances for survival just ended. Sorry for the sad ending. However, just 10 feet away behind him, there is a door that is open. He could have just flown throw the door to reach his destination easily and effortlessly. 

Can you relate to this story at all? I sure can. Why do we think that trying harder will bring success? Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it comes with a huge price to pay. When we are not getting the results we want, why do we just work harder at it? Trying harder only produces incremental gains, not quantum leaps. Trying harder only produces frustration and disappointment because you keep getting more of the same. More effort isn’t the answer. Shifting gears is the answer. 

If you have been trying harder with little or no success, I invite you to click on my website http://www.kathleen-lorden.com  and fill out the survey questionnaire and submit it to me. I am offering free strategy sessions to those of you who would like to discover what is getting in the way of Your success. So Go ahead. Fill it out. Its the first step. Taking Action.